Breathe Hope In Me
by rednidi3
Summary: To Isabella, money means power. She has seen first hand how much it can change someone. What happens when she meets a guy who sees things diffrently in life? Will she ever learn to let go of what she thinks is the most important thing for what truly is?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:**** Okay, so this is my first Edward & Bella story. I have wanted to write one for a while now, but I never really sat down and brainstormed ideas for an actual story. Not until recently when my friend and I sat down and started discussing possible ideas. I'm really into writing this now, and I'm really hoping you guys will like it. Please Review and let me know what you think. I'm really looking forward to your opinions.**

**WARNING:**** There is unpleasant lemony action in this chappie, but not all that detailed. I'm saving the good ones for later. ;)**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight or any of Stephenie's Characters, I am simply obsessed with the entire series and movie. **

BPOV

My name is Isabella Marie Swan. I'm 18 going on 19. Yep, my birthday is in just about a month. I was born in Forks Washington, and as far as I can remember, I loved it there. The main reason I loved it there was because there was no Rene. You see, Rene is my step mom, she actually thinks she loves me, but she's only a pain in the ass. I used to live with my dad, Charlie, in Forks. When I was born my mom left us, so I never got to know her. Personally, me and my dad were better off without her anyway, at least, until Rene.

When I turned seven, my dad met Rene in Forks. She was on vacation with her, get this; husband. Anyway, my dad didn't know at the time. They hit it off right away, she came from a wealthy family, but my dad didn't know that until they were planning _their_ wedding. How and when did my dad find out she was married? Well, she told him once _they _were married. Apparently she'd gotten a divorce once my dad proposed. My dad was furious about the money and the husband, but he forgave her. I was completely pissed, I mean, what kind of person does that? The evil rich bitch kind, and what kind of person forgives a person like that? Charlie.

Rene had everything in Arizona. She had her big fancy house, and her shiny expensive cars, so we ended up moving there. Tucson, Arizona, wow. Do you have any idea how hard it is to adjust to a very extremely hot and humid climate, when you're so used to rain just about every day of your life? I was always forgetting to put on sunscreen lotion for the beginning of our move, and I instantly found out my skin is very sensitive to the sun. I was peeling skin off for so long, that I swear I left it in the sheets every morning. Disgusting, I know.

Well, I _was_ almost eight when we were completely moved in and settled. I started school, private of course, and I instantly made friends with a girl named Angela. She offered me a seat during lunch and we hit it off right away. Her parents were rich, and that did not surprise me. Pretty much all of the kids in that school were rich, most of which were completely full of themselves.

Being around money for so long, I've grown accustomed to it. I really can't picture myself without money anymore. I love spending money, and I think it's safe to say that I'm addicted to it. Then again, who wouldn't be if you could get _anything_ you ever wanted for just about ten years. I know that I am spoiled and I know I can be a brat now, but I also know that I have opinions and feelings, that I never really express anymore.

I have let Rene boss me around or so long, that I don't know how to say 'no' anymore, for fear that my dad will take her side, which would hurt, and for fear of losing the money, which would be extremely hard. I love buying new clothes when opportunity comes, and new computer programs. I can't lose that, so I go along with everything they want.

For instance; I don't want to date Mike Newton anymore. You see, it all started in middle school. Mike was, of course, rich, and his parents have always wanted to see us together, as a couple. Rene and my dad didn't think it was such a bad idea either. So they made us hang out allot, but it was never really serious in the beginning, because it was always family dinners or banquets. It wasn't serious until Rene told me that Mike and I were going on our first date in the beginning of senior year. They set us up and paid for a very nice, fancy dinner.

During the banquets and dinners, we would only talk to please our parents. We weren't really interested and usually BS'd the conversations. It was different now that it was going to be the two of us; we knew that we had to talk about something other than what we were wearing and what we were planning on doing this weekend.

I was extremely surprised to find out I really _did_ like Mike. He told me about how his parents desperately wanted him to be a doctor, but he wanted to study to be a mechanic and open up his own shop. He was really into painting cars too, and that really caught my interest because of my sketches, I was really into the whole art thing. I told him how my parents wanted me to be a doctor as well, and how I didn't really want to be that. I told him how I desperately wanted to study for stuff like web design and art, but of course, I didn't tell him about my personal website, , where I post blogs about my life and get advice from complete strangers. Nobody knew about it but me. When I first created it my junior year, I had no Idea I'd get so many hits. My viewers didn't know _everything_ about me, just basic things that would give them enough insight on how crappy my life got sometimes.

Mike also told me about how his parents fought allot, and his mom was a drunk. He really opened up to me, and I found out allot that I never would have guessed. I told him a few things about my family as well. I told him about how my dad and Rene met, and he agreed on the fact that Rene was a complete bitch, and wasn't worthy of my trust.

By the end of our date he gave me my first kiss, but I knew that it wasn't _his _first. He had also told me about how he lost his virginity his freshman year at a party while he was drunk. I was a little surprised, I mean, I heard things at school about Mike sometimes, but I always thought people were just bored with their own lives and making up stories about everyone else. He also asked me out on a second date, and our parents were very pleased, because they didn't have to force another one on us, it was voluntary.

We managed to sneak out and go to a few parties together, before I decided that it wasn't such a good idea anymore. Mike was pissed with me. He would get pretty rowdy when he was drunk, and he'd tried to pressure me into having sex more than once. I was sure he was only like that when he was drunk, and I was sure that he _only _drank, so I let it slide, and I told him I couldn't go out to parties anymore because I had almost gotten caught, and we couldn't take the risk, because our parents disapproved of parties that were, well, let's just say high school parties. And they were not fans of underage drinking and drugs.

Just about a month after we quit going to parties together, Mike asked me out on a weekend vacation to Acapulco, Mexico during one of our family dinners. Of course it was his parents, his little sister, my dad, Rene, and I who were all staring at him with mouths gaping like retarded fish. I was completely caught off guard and didn't say _anything_, I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend a weekend away with Mike, alone. I wasn't even sure how _his _parents, Rene, and Dad would take it. I was completely surprised when they _all_ agreed to it, and therefore made the decision for me to go. I was incredibly nervous, and had no idea what to expect.

When we were in Acapulco, I had no idea that Mike could woo a girl so much. We went on a small cruise, we went on a banana shaped boat of some kind, and we even swam with dolphins and rode a motor boat. It was completely liberating to feel the ocean breeze at such a fast pace. I had allot of fun with him, and I was a little surprised. He also took me to a very fancy restaurant on the beach. On our final night in Acapulco, we went for a short walk along the beach. I was wearing a thin, white, strapless dress, which stopped right above my knees, and he was wearing black dress pants and a white button down shirt. Everything felt so perfect that night, the moon, the waves, it was all so serene. I lost my virginity to Mike Newton that night, and never once regretted it, until now.

Senior year, almost graduation; Mike and I were supposed to meet up afterschool one Friday and I had been waiting in the parking lot next to his car for just about fifteen munities when I decided I'd go back and look for him. What I found, I did not see coming. He was in the wide open hallways with one guy and three girls. Two of which were all over him. He was groping one of their asses and they were touching him pretty much everywhere. The other girl was busy with the other guy. Did I mention that the halls reeked of weed? Yeah, I was completely dumfounded. Mike noticed me and all I could do was gape. When he took a step forward I spun around and ran out of the hallway, leaving one high mike behind.

I noticed that once Mike's eyes met mine all he was thinking was _shit shit shit, she's going to tell my parents._ There was no glimmer of sadness in his eyes at all, and that was incredibly painful to me. I had been falling in love with Mike, and he didn't care. This was confirmed later that day, when he stopped by my house. My mom answered and when I was called downstairs, apparently we had a date. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't exactly in the mood for talking to him, nonetheless on a date. I had no choice, Rene was behind this.

We left in his car and everything was silent. He didn't say a word, I didn't say a word. Not until we reached a very deserted road surrounded by desert, he decided to pull over. "Isabella, you can't say _anything_ about what you saw."

"The weed part or the cheating part?" I snapped.

Mike sighed in frustration and practically pulled my arm off when he grabbed it. "Both." He was staring right into my eyes, and I was staring right back into his with wide eyes. Why was he acting like that? "I'm warning you Is."

"Don't call me 'Is'." I tried pulling my arm away from his grip, but he just held on tighter. "Mike! You're hurting me!" I screamed and he just laughed.

"Baby this is nothing to what's going to happen to you if you open that pretty mouth of yours." I did not know how I had missed it, but once he forcefully pulled me closer to kiss me, I knew he'd been drinking.

I pulled back as much as he would let me. "Mike! Are you drunk?"

"Hardly babe." He pulled me in for a kiss again and added tongue. I struggled against him, pulling at his hair in an attempt to yank his head away from me, but he moaned in my mouth and started grabbing at my body. He thought I was enjoying it? I hit him where it hurt most before he could take it any further and he released me. He cursed in pain and held his hands on his crotch.

I opened the car door and quickly got out, then slammed it shut. I started to run, in attempt to find somebody, anybody, but the fucking street was lifeless. Not even any fucking animals in sight that might save me by ripping Mike's guts out, then again what was I expecting? A bear? Fat chance, but maybe a coyote would do.

It was dark and cold and I heard Mike's door slam. He was coming after me. "IS!" He yelled. I panicked and ran for it. That didn't help much; he was definitely faster and stronger. He reached me and practically pounced on me, we fell to the floor. He was on top of me and my face was literally against the pavement of the road. I screamed for both the pain I was feeling in the position I was In, I knew had scrapped my hands and legs at the hard fall, and for the fact that Mike wasn't letting me go.

"Mike! Let me go! Please! Why are you doing this?!" I yelled at him. I was able to feel his hard on against my back and I wanted to puke. He was breathing low and heavy and I knew what he wanted to do...

"I love you Is, and you're mine." He breathed against my ear, his breath still smelling of alcohol. "I know you want me. When's the last time we had sex babe?" I was sobbing by now, and I had quit on struggling, because it only caused me more pain. "You won't say anything about this will you?" He asked and I said and did nothing. "Answer me Bitch!" He slapped my ass, and It stung so badly that I had to bite down on my lip so that I wouldn't scream, I knew I'd have a bruise there in the morning.

"You know why you won't say anything?" He paused, obviously expecting me to say something, and when he figured I wasn't going to he continued. "Because we both have something to lose here." He said, more kind than I expected. "You say anything, and I'm disowned, I lose my money and my house, I lose everything. I also lose my parents, but _that_ I could care less about. _You_ on the other hand, I know that you would _die _if you father stopped loving you, personally _I_ don't see why, he's so pathetic." Then I began to struggle again, wanting to slap him, but he just held me tighter to the ground and I had to gasp for air. "... He lives off your mom's money."

"Don't call her that." I said through clenched teeth, furious that he'd say Rene was my mother and completely pissed off that he'd bring my dad into this too.

He laughed and started to move his hand up the skirt I was wearing, touching under my panties, stroking my ass. I tried to struggle against his touch and he quickly slipped his hand back out and slapped me again, and this time I didn't hold back my scream. He kissed my forehead and continued. "You see, your dad will _hate_ you if you ruined anything with him and Renee, for some reason he loves the bitch, you've even told me yourself... he sides with her every time. She would disown you as well, she'd think you were doing drugs and shit because I would tell on you too." He shook his head. "Oh and the money, you would lose everything!" He sighed. "How about you make this easy?" He asked and suddenly I felt lighter. He had gotten up and off of me. I rolled over and he was standing above me unbuckling his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers revealing his hard cock.

I knew he was right, and I _was_ afraid. So I obliged and slowly lifted up my skirt with trembling hands and then let out a sob while trying to pull my panties down, and without any other words I shut my eyes tightly knowing all too well what was to come next, as he positioned himself between my legs then fucked me so hard that I was screaming in pain, and he was enjoying every minute of it. Once he came inside me and he stood up getting dressed again, I did the same a lot faster than him, trying to get covered up as soon as possible, and walked over to his car as best I could because I was trembling hard, but it was extremely humid and warm. I was soar, but knew it would be allot worse the next day, it was also a good thing I had gone on birth control a few months before. Then he drove me home and I knew I looked like shit, so I said we went for a walk in the park, I tripped, and rolled down a steep hill, and Mike had gone after me and saved me. If only they knew.

Once Id made it inside my room, I automatically undressed myself and turned on the shower. I slipped inside and made sure the water was hotter than usual. I'd heard that hotter water kills bacteria when you wash dishes, so I figured it would work the same if I used it to clean off what Mike left behind. I was still able to feel his lips tugging on my now extremely sensitive breasts. I scrubbed my body harder than usual trying to wipe away any damn trace Mike left behind, and replacing them with marks of my own. I was crying hysterically, and I was glad all the bedrooms were sound proof, but I wasn't crying because the hot water was burning my skin wherever it touched for too long, or because I was hurting my skin even more by scrubbing so hard, but because I had just been used like a fucking rag doll, I felt worthless, and the pain in my heart was much greater than the physical pain that I was only aware of subconsciously...

After that night, I put my website on hiatus. Knowing full well that writing about it would make me feel worse.

Since both Mike's family and my family wanted us to be doctors, the ideal school was Harvard, but neither of us got in, so together, we made a deal with our parents. We would study to be doctors, only if we were allowed to stay near home. Of course, they were all for it, and only because when Mike and I made decisions together It was always right in their eyes. They wanted us together so badly, it made my stomach sick. I was actually pretty disappointed that _I_ didn't get in to Harvard; I thought I had good enough grades, but I wasn't surprised about Mike. I knew that I didn't want to be a doctor, but the idea of moving to a new place and basically starting over was something I would have loved. I also knew that I'd still have money, because as long as I went along with whatever dreams Rene had, I was set.

Our families gave us two choices. We could study in the University Of Arizona, located _in_ Tucson, or The University of Phoenix, that was only about an hour drive into Phoenix. Mike of course, always made the decisions, because he would find some way to scare me into the decision _he _wanted, and it always worked. He decided U of A, probably because he didn't want to leave his ways and start over. He already had his weekly routines here with his buddies and he didn't want to stop. I was not surprised.

Now I was waiting the day when I would begin college, and it was only a week away. In the meantime, Angela and I had plans.

"Oh my goodness Izzie, this is going to be so much fun!" Angela exclaimed! Using the nickname she'd given me since we first met. I had introduced myself as Isabella Marie Swan, and she'd said; Yeah, too complicated, how about I call you Izzie for short? Ever since, Angela and the few girl friends I had throughout high school called me that, with the exception of Mike calling me 'Is', which I hated.

"You know, I've never done this. Is it normal to be afraid?" I asked, and just as I said it, the guy running the Ferris wheel waved us into our little booth thing. I could not believe I was about to get in that thing. I had not been at a fair since Forks with my dad, but even then it was always kiddy rides. I wasn't exactly a fan of heights, or being dizzy. Once, after the teacup ride, I was violently sick, my dad even took me to the hospital, but that was when I _knew_ he cared for me more than _anything_. Now, not so much.

"Oh C'mon Izz, You'll be fine." Angela said as she pulled at my arm, making me flinch because I remembered the night Mike practically made me have sex with him. I pulled my arm back and shook my head at her.

"No, I can't do it. I'm sorry Ang." I sighed and walked away from the ride, leaving Angela behind. My eye sight was blurry with tears and I was literally hyperventilating. I sat down at a bench where I thought I'd be alone for at least a little while, or at least long enough to calm down.

Damn these stupid amusement parks, well, sort of. I'm only here because a bunch of our high school girlfriends decided that we needed to do something wild before we started college, and this _was_ wild for me, but I knew that most of the girls at school weren't completely closed off to these things the way I was. I never really get out much, I know, but there are other things that I'm into, or at least, things I _have_ to do. There's banquets, cocktail parties, weddings, and of course, shopping. I don't mind shopping at the local malls here in Tucson, but Rene always insists on weekends away to Los Angeles for some _decent_ shopping, and most of the time I don't mind.

One I pushed my feelings down enough to function normally, I stood up and scanned the crowds for Angela. I dialed her number on my cell a few times, but she never answered, and I hoped that she wasn't incredibly pissed off with me.

"IS!" I heard a familiar voice shout from behind me and I turned to find Mike running up to me through the crowds of people. If he wasn't such a dick hole, I would have thought it looked like some cheesy romance movie where the guy is running up to the girl, and they're about to reunite after being apart for so long. All I wanted was the opposite. I wanted Mike to turn, run in the other direction and if there happened to be a large pole or fire pit in the direction he was running, well, I wouldn't object.

"Hey." I said simply once he was standing right in front of me, his cheeks a light shade of pink, that I would have found completely adorable a month ago. "You didn't tell me you were coming?"

"I don't tell you allot of things Is." He grinned and I wasn't sure how to respond to that, and I honestly didn't care. "The thing is I _am_ here, and I want to win a prize for _my _girlfriend." _Prize? How about a new boyfriend_? He smiled the smile I used to find adorable, but now made me want to gag at how fake it truly was. Before I even had a chance to respond, he put his arm around my shoulder making me cringe slightly. Then he was leading us towards a few booths with a variety of games. "Now, which prize do you want?" He asked and pointed at three different booths, one with stuffed animals as prizes, and another with basketballs, and the last with goldfish. I shrugged and went along with it, putting on a show for anyone around who might know our parents. Now that I was _with_ Mike at the fair, if word got out that we were there, our parents wouldn't get too angry.

"That one." I pointed at the booth with the goldfish as the prize. There were a variety of cups spread around a circular table in the center of the small booth and each cup contained one small goldfish inside. A young and handsome guy with beautiful shimmering green eyes and tussled bronze hair was running the booth. He was busy giving a prize away to the couple next to us, and then his gaze went to me. I was doing pretty well on the self control thing until it happened. His lips turned up on one side into the most perfect crooked grin and I was gone. I was smiling like an idiot and I couldn't really function well enough to care. Mike asked for one ring to toss, and of course, had to be rude to the bronze haired beauty.

When the guy spoke, I couldn't help but smile more. I was almost positive my face resembled a 14 year old boy watching porn for the first time. Mr. Fuck Me was talking to Mike, but looking at me. "The object of the game is to toss the ring and make it around one of the cups, then--"

"I know what to do doofus!" Mike snapped, and I almost laughed when the guy cracked a grin at Mike's remark. He thought it was stupid of course, who in the world says doofus anymore?

"Ed!" Someone shouted and bronze haired beauty turned to face whoever it was calling him. I'm guessing it was the manager of the fair. _Ed. _That's his name? Nickname? I sighed internally and then snapped out of it. What was I doing drooling over this guy? I literally shook my head and realized I had missed _everything_. Ed was back from whatever conversation he'd been having and Mike had thrown his ring around one of the cups.

Ed was now handing me the cup with the fish that Mike had won for me, still smiling that pretty smile of his, and I stopped myself from smiling back at the god. Instead I took the fish and kissed my alleged boyfriend. "Thanks baby." I smiled at Mike, and I knew that he was dumfounded. I was never really _affectionate _anymore, if you could call it that. Mike grinned and swung his arm over my shoulder again, I of course couldn't help but flinch slightly at his quick movement, and then he led us away from the booth. I couldn't help but turn my head enough to look back at Ed, and I was surprised to find that he was staring in my direction until someone came up to him and he went about his job.

I then focused my attention back towards where Mike was heading and I started to panic internally when I realized he was heading for the exit. I _knew_ that my little voluntary kiss back there would start up something, but I wasn't thinking, not really. Just as I thought that I was screwed, Angela walks up to us. "Izzie, where the hell have you been?" She asked, seriously worried, I was able to tell, but also trying to save my ass.

Although Angela was my best friend, I didn't tell her _everything_. I never told her anything about the way Mike treated me while he fucked me or the way he treated me in general. I never told her about the constant bruising he caused me. I always hid it from her and everyone else. The only thing she knew was that our parents wanted us together since middle school, and that Mike wanted us together, but she also knew that wasn't what _I _wanted. She knew that I was afraid to lose everything, and so I pleased everyone else by staying with Mike.

"I'm sorry Ang. I've been with Mike, but don't act all innocent. I called you a few times and you never answered." I played along.

"Sorry." She was honest then. "My phone died." I knew she was lying when she said that, but I let it slide. "Anyway, we need to get outta here. My mom expected me home like ten munities ago." She said and I knew that was the truth.

I nodded and she took my hand pulling me along with her towards the exit, all while I made sure not to drop my fish in my other hand, sure Mike got it for me, but I wasn't going to be childish and not keep it, it isn't the fishes fault Mike is an ass. "Sorry Mike. Bye. I'll call you!" I shouted, without meaning any of it, except the 'Bye' part. Angela waved bye to him too, and I'm not sure he noticed but she also flipped him off, causing me to laugh.

"You know, you really shouldn't get on his bad side Ang." I said, still a little giggly as we approached her car that we'd driven in to get to the fair. "But thanks for saving me." I said sincerely.

"That's what I do. I keep you out of trouble. Or in it if it's good for you." She winked at me and opened her car doors. Once we were inside Angela was about to turn on the ignition when she held back, and I knew it was coming again. "You don't need him you know." She said. "If you don't want to be with him I'm sure your dad would understand." She'd said this so many times that I wasn't able to count the amount of times anymore.

I sighed, frustrated. Nobody ever _really_ understood that it's this or no dad and no money. The money, that would be hard to live without, but a life without my dad, that would murder me. I just nodded and decided that I had explained myself way to many times before, and she finally turned on the car, driving out of the fair, dropping the subject, knowing full well I really wasn't in the mood to go over it again.

Once we were only a few feet away from the main entrance of my house, Angela pulled over again. I thought she was going to bring it up again, but she didn't. "I have news." She said, sounding quite proud of herself and it instantly made me curious. I just looked at her expectantly, signaling for her to continue. "I met a guy tonight."

"You met a guy?" I asked. I was kind of shocked because, well, Angela never really spoke about guys, not ever really in a happy way. She always went on about how they were a pain in the ass and there was no need for them, then she'd add that there was an exception with my dad. Ever since she thought she'd fallen in love in middle school, she'd sworn guys off, so this was odd.

"Yeah. When you left me. I was going to go on the ride alone, but a guy named Eric stepped up and went on with me." She giggled. _Angela _giggled while speaking of a guy and I _had_ to smile. "Izzie, He was so cute. Nervous as hell, and he kept on talking about how he was going to die and he had me laughing the entire time, well not entirely, just the beginning, because well..." She trailed off and was blushing, Angela was blushing over a guy and I had to laugh a little.

"Angela?" I asked, in attempt to bring her back.

"Sorry." She shook her head. "Well, He wouldn't stop talking so I told him to look at me, and when he did our eyes locked for the rest of the ride." She sighed happily, "It was so cute. It was like nobody else was there, just the two of us. I think he seriously forgot he was _on_ a Ferris wheel."

"Well, you had more fun than I did." I took a look at my fish and decided I needed to get it a little fish tank, living in a cup was not how _I'd _want to live.

"What _did_ you do?" She asked.

"Long story short, well actually no, it _is_ a short story. Mike won me a fish and I eye-fucked the guy running the booth." I shrugged. "Okay gotta go." I teased, opening my door and Angela grabbed my arm, bringing back a small flash of Mike and I flinched, but let it go easily this time.

"You are not leaving until you tell me." She demanded.

I laughed and settled back in my seat, closing the door again. "It really was nothing." I shrugged indifferently. "The guy running the booth was simply _the_ sexiest man in existence and he happened to be staring at me, so I pretty much returned fire. Mike was being a total jerk and Mr. Fuck Me seemed pretty amused by it."

"What?"

"Uh, Ed. Ed seemed pretty amused by it." I wasn't sure if she'd heard me clearly before, but I figured not because she continued the conversation as if I hadn't.

"Ed?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, that's all I got for a name. You think he'd be wearing a name tag." I hit my forehead. "Shit, I was literally too busy eye-fucking the guy I never really looked anywhere else." I laughed to myself, and Angela joined. "Sorry. I completely stole the spotlight. Did you get a number from this Eric guy?" I asked.

She nodded, and the way she did it made me laugh. She was so happy about it, that I couldn't help but be happy with her. "I really do think I should go now though." She sighed. "Sorry Izz."

I shrugged. "It's fine. I should go inside now too. My dad's probably worried, and Rene is probably not helping." Angela nodded. "Call me tomorrow?" She agreed and I got out of the car, and made my way up to the bronze colored gate. I pressed the button to be let in, waved at the camera in the little corner of the gate, and in seconds, Giovanni was on the intercom.

"Good evening Miss Swan, the gate will open up for you right away." And in instants it was.

"Thanks Gio!" He hated it when I called him that and it amused me, so I kept doing it. He really was a cool guy though. We play tennis a few times together on our court, he always beats me, but one day, things will change.

I made my way into our big brick house, which I personally found surprisingly small for Rene's taste. I myself didn't mind. Just as long as I got my own room. Once I walked inside, I _thought_ that my dad would be up, waiting for me the way he always did just a few months ago, but I wasn't all that surprised to see that Rene and him were already sleeping when I peeked inside their bedroom. I sighed, feeling sad, but also wondering why I couldn't just suck it up. Most kids would want parents who _didn't_ stay up and waited long enough to give you a long lecture about being out after midnight, and that's exactly when I got home, just past midnight.

I silently closed their door and when I turned I almost shit my skirt and dropped my fish because Giovanni was standing right there. "Gio!?" I exclaimed, silently. "My goodness you almost gave me a heart attack!"

He was obviously trying not to laugh and I frowned. "I'm sorry Miss--"

"_Isabella_ Gio, how many times do I have to tell you?" And I knew what was coming.

"_Giovanni_ Miss Swan, how many times do _I_ have to tell _you_?" I laughed a little and he continued. "I noticed you had a goldfish in your hand, and in a cup I might add." I held my fish up and he smiled. "I have one just a bit bigger than this one in my room. If you like we can put yours in _my_ tank. It won't live through the night in that cup you know?"

I smiled widely. "I didn't know you had fish."

"Only one." He smiled and led the way into his room. It was downstairs, in the basement. It wasn't all crappy looking though. Rene kept the entire house looking Fancy, including the basement, where Giovanni practically lived while he wasn't on gate duty. He was like part of the family most of the time. "Miss Swan, meet bubbles." Once he said the fish's name, I burst into laughter. "What's so funny Miss Swan?"

I could not stop laughing. "Say bubbles again." I said once I calmed down. He frowned and I laughed again.

"Haha, not that funny. You're lucky I'm saving your fish you know?" He said and I stopped laughing, for the sake of my fish, even though I knew he would still help even if I kept laughing. He took my cup and gently emptied my fish and the water in the cup in his miniature aquarium tank. I really liked it, it was decorated with pretty black and gold rocks and it had a few plants and a filter. I smiled as I watched my fish swimming with bubbles. "Have you named it?" He asked.

"No I haven't." I hadn't even thought about a name.

"Make it something special."

"Like Bubbles?" I asked, trying not to laugh really hard.

"The only reason I named her Bubbles is because she's always swimming around the bubbles the filter makes... and well, I was obsessed with bubbles as a child" I had another fit of laughter because he'd said bubbles three times in the same sentence. Once I was sane again, I decided on the perfect name.

"His name is Ed."

**I'm currently working on Chapter Two; I will try and have it done soon. In the meantime, what're your opinions on Ch1?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:**** Okay, here's Chapter Two, and I know the last one was all in Bella's POV, but no worries this one is all in Edward's POV. Enjoy, and please Review. BTW: This Chappie has allot more Dialogue than the last and it's a bit shorter.**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight or any of Stephenie's Characters, but I can bend my thumb back at a very weird angle. Lol**

EPOV

My name is Edward Cullen and I'm nineteen years old. I've lived in Tucson, Arizona all of my life, and I can't see myself in any other place. I love it here, the heat, and the desert. Yeah, I know most people hate getting all sweaty, but it's good with me. Now, I'm not saying that I _love_ sweating, but what does it hurt? If anything I say it helps, especially if you're trying to keep in shape. I'm always taking jogs around the nearest parks and making sure that I'm getting my proper exercise.

I have a twin sister, Alice. She is a huge pain in the ass most of the time, but I love her. It's just sheer torture to be around her inside of a mall, and she tends to drag me along most of the time, claiming that I need to find a nice girl who can not only be my lover, but her shopping companion, and now I know what clothes make a women's ass look smaller and oh, how to tell the difference between a real goochie and a knock off goochie. Alice is always bugging me about being alone. Of course, I've had girlfriends, but nothing too serious that got far. The longest relationship I've ever been in was in high school, junior year, with a girl named Tanya. We were together for just about a month before I found out she'd been cheating on me the entire time with some jackass rich kid at some private school. I hate the kids who think they have everything to offer just because they have access to daddy's big bank account.

Alice had dragged me to a party she'd been invited to our senior year in high school. I had invited Tanya, but she'd said she had allot of studying to do. Apparently it was one of those parties thrown by one of the few snobby rich kids that actually tried to have fun by doing normal teenager stuff behind their parent's backs. It was a pretty good party in a pretty big house. It made me wonder who at our school had invited Alice. I'd been hanging around Alice making sure she didn't get too wasted; I was designated driver, so I drank punch. After my third cup I had to use the bathroom so I promised Alice I'd be right back.

When I opened the door to the upstairs bathroom, I was not expecting what I saw. A sandy blonde hair guy was sitting on the toilet seat, I didn't get a good look at him, and Tanya was riding him. Tanya's eyes widened when she saw me and she didn't have a chance to say anything. Yeah, the slut didn't even have the decency to lock the damn door.

I quickly turned, slamming the door behind me and I stormed downstairs to find Alice. When I found her she was only on her third drink, so I knew she was sober enough to notice I didn't want to be there anymore. We walked out of the house and made our way to my dad's car that I had promised not to ruin while we were out.

I had told Alice what happened on our way to the car and she was completely pissed. "I cannot believe I went shopping with that whore!" Were the exact words that she spat out at the news. "I'm sorry." She said to me and I shook my head. We were about to leave when we heard Tanya approaching us, yelling my name. I thought both Alice and I were on the same page, and I got in the car thinking Alice would do the same and ignore her, I didn't want to even look at the bitch, she'd betrayed my trust and all in all, my heart. Then I realized Alice had gone after her and I got to her just after she'd punched Tanya right in the face with so much force that she was on the ground holding her face in her hand. Now Alice could be the sweetest thing but if you pissed her off well, she has quite the temper. I was happy with my sister and dragged her to the car to take her out for ice-cream, and I needed to blow off steam before we went home.

Carlisle Cullen, our dad, and Esme Cullen, our mom passed away in a terrible car accident just after we turned eighteen. Alice and I were already considered adults, but we still had a choice. They told us it was rare for kids our age to find foster parents, and that it was rare that they would take the both of us, so that meant we'd separate. We agreed not to join the stupid program and figured we'd be better off on our own anyway. Our dad was a doctor, so he left us enough money to pay for both of our tuitions for college, but not enough to keep us going more than a month living on our own without making money. So we started looking for jobs.

I found a part-time job at Target, and I started to jump at opportunities for temporary jobs at fairs and concerts of all sorts to make an extra buck. Alice found a part-time job at Victoria's Secret where she would take shifts at both the fragrances department and the lingerie department. It was kind of weird to know my sister sold cleavage and crotch clothing for a living.

We had both been used to getting enough money to buy a few things we liked, but not everything, we had limits. Alice had a really hard time with the limits considering her shopoholic tendencies.

Our father would never hesitate to give us money if we _needed _it, but when it was something we simply _wanted_, he would ask for a good reason as to why we wanted something so badly. It would get pretty annoying sometimes, especially when we didn't really have reason, it was simply a desire, but I knew it kept us in check. We never became spoiled, even though I knew we could have so easily.

Alice and I started out living together, and it lasted about two weeks before her boyfriend, Jasper Hale, asked her to move in with him. I knew she wanted to do it to be with him, but she kept telling me that she wouldn't leave me. I felt horrible that my sister wasn't able to do what she wanted just because she wanted to stay with me, so I convinced her to go, even though I knew it would be hell to keep an apartment running myself.

We sat across from each other in our small but comfortable living room, discussing the current situation. Alice was trying to convince me to let her stay, after I'd told her that she should go with Jasper.

"You want me to go?" She asked, with saddened eyes.

"Yes." I nodded. "But, not because I don't love you, or because I don't want you here, but because _you_ love him, and _you _want to live with him."

She was on the verge of tears and I felt like shit. I hated to see my sister crying, so much that when our parents died it took me a full three days before I shed a tear, for fear that if I did cry in front of Alice, she'd be even sadder. "That's incredibly nice of you Edward, but I can't leave you." She shook her head. "Not now."

I shrugged. "Why not? I'll be fine. I have a job."

"No." She said and stood up to go to her room, but I followed. I stood outside her door for a few munities before I stepped inside. She was holding a picture of our parents in her hands and she was sitting cross-legged on her small single bed. I sat down next to her and when she looked up at me, her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet with tears. The look on her face broke my heart and I had to hold her. We re-lived our loss all over again for more than a half hour before we were both able to speak coherent sentences.

"I want you to go Alice." She shook her head and was about to speak, but I didn't let her. "Alice. Does he make you happy?" I knew what her answer would be, but even so I needed to hear it.

"Yes." She said, telling me the honest truth.

"Then you'll go." I cracked a smile and took the picture of our parents cuddling at a beach in California. "Mom and dad would want you happy."

"I am happy; Mom and dad would also want us sticking together." She said as she took the picture back, stood up and set it on her dresser. Always the stubborn one.

"But we are. We're still family Alice, and I'll always be here for you." She sat back down on the bed next to me. "We don't have to live together to stick together. Now quit being so stubborn and tell me I'm right."

She studied me for a second, probably checking to see If I was really okay with it. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're right." I held up my hands in victory and she laughed. I smiled, happy that she wasn't all sad anymore. "Thank you Edward. And you know I'm always here for you too right?"

I nodded my head. "Thanks baby sis."

"By a mere 10 seconds!" She exclaimed, and it was all settled.

She moved in with Jasper to his one bedroom apartment, and I convinced myself not to get all jealous brother on them, after all, I agreed to the move. I moved out of our two-bedroom apartment into a smaller, one-bedroom. With the job I had, I barely made enough for bills, so the extra jobs I would take in were what kept me eating and enjoying my life as best I could. I wasn't living so hard that I would complain, but sure, I would have liked to have more. It would sure as hell make things easier on me.

Jasper wasn't bad at all. I approved of him the first time we'd met. He'd been introduced to our parents during our last Thanksgiving that we'd had together. He was extremely excited to watch football season and so was I. We ended up watching it together at my place with my dad and a few of the other doctors from my dad's work. Not only was Jasper cool to hang out with but he did love my sister, I was completely sure of it when our parents died and Jasper was there for the both of us the entire time. The way he looked over my sister during the hardest time in both out lives was surely all he needed to do to have all my trust with her.

Jasper had a sister, Rosalie Hale, whom Alice had tried to set me up with, but we only ever went on one date and knew we had no spark. Rosalie and Alice hung out with my mom while we guys bonded during the games. Rosalie became good friends with my sister and they started to hang out every time Jasper and I hung out. Now and then all four of us would go out bowling or to the movies, and even though Rosalie and I both knew that Jasper and Alice wanted us together. We knew that we didn't click romantically, but we were really good friends.

When our parents died and the funeral came around, our family members from California and Illinois came to pay their respects and to make sure that Alice and I would be okay. One of my cousins, Emmett Cullen, was supposed to move to Tucson with his family within the next month after our parent's death, so he ended up staying with Alice and I in our apartment until his family was all settled in. While he stayed with us he got to meet Jasper and Rosalie. Rosalie and Emmet hit it off right away and now they're dating.

Now instead of being a group of four, we're a group of five. Sure, I get annoyed at the fact that I'm the spare wheel sometimes, but I can't blame them for finding one another. We still go out as a group allot, but I tend to fall away from them and find my own fun. I find girls to dance with at clubs, but I never really find a girl I'm able to connect with enough to want to see them again. At the movies or during our outings to a bowling alley I get a few girls numbers now and then, but I never really feel up to talk to any of them again so I never call. I wasn't in love with Tanya, but I knew that I had been falling. Thinking about it now, I don't know why I was falling for her in the first place. All I do know is that I'm glad I got rid of her sooner than later.

Since my dad was a doctor, I had always wanted to be one like him, and follow his footsteps. He would tell me stories about how he would save people's lives daily, and also about how he would lose some. He was really into it and always made it sound so exciting. I was completely into his work and always asked him random questions while growing up about medical things. When I was little I remember asking him about things like fixing nose bleeds and proper ways to clean a gash in your body. I would especially ask during dinner and would cause everyone to lose their appetites. It wasn't my fault I came up with the best questions during dinner.

"Dad, what would you do if a kid came in and there was a knife stuck through his foot?" I asked my dad who was sitting right next to me at the dinner table and we'd just started eating my mom's famous meatloaf, well, famous to me.

"Edward!" Alice complained from across the table sitting next to mom, being almost two heads shorter than her while we sat because we were only five at the time.

"And what if the knife had gone almost all the way in and so he couldn't walk so while his dad was carrying him he was dripping blood everywhere!" I was completely excited for my dad's answer and Alice's complaints.

"Son, maybe now's not the ti--" My dad started to say, but I interrupted.

"Do you guys have like special people that have to clean the blood?" I asked.

"Edward! Eeew! Stop!" Alice covered her ears and closed her eyes shut tightly singing over and over. "LALALALA! CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING!" I thought it was hilarious, but I was still waiting for my dad's response.

"Well son, those special people are called janitors."

I looked at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. "Dad... can I be a janitor?"

"If that's what you choose. What happened to wanting to be a doctor?"

"Can I be both?"

"Sure son."

"Okay okay. Alice, calm down it's over. Edward won't bring up anything that will make us puke anymore... will you Edward?" My mom asked me from across the table after she'd calmed Alice down. I shook my head and mom made me apologize to Alice and she enjoyed it way too much for my liking, so I ate in a way that would disgust the hell out of her.

As I grew up I kept asking questions, but they became questions that really showed I was listening when he spoke about his job. I would ask about cardio attacks, blood clots, and all sorts of medical mumbo jumbo. Interesting mumbo jumbo that is.

Of course, anyone who had a dream of becoming a doctor someday would ideally want to go to some school like Harvard or Yale, but I wasn't the kind of kid who could afford it. Besides, even _if _I had a scholarship, after our parents died, we'd decided to stick together, and I wouldn't leave my sister behind, so I never applied. I never received a scholarship either so if I would have gotten in, I would have been in for some major disappointment.

Both Alice and I applied at the University of Arizona. It was _in_ Tucson, so it was better for us financially. We were thankful to our dad who'd left us enough money to afford a full ride for the both of us with a little to spare. We both got in and we're both starting in just about a week. Alice is studying fashion design and she's also taking a business class with hopes of opening up some kind of clothing store in the future where she can sell clothes she created herself.

Before school starts I'm trying to work my ass off more than usual because with classes starting up so soon, I won't have all that much time to take in extra jobs...

"Come on up guys! Don't be shy, throw in that ring around that cup and win yourself a goldfish of your own!" It's exhausting to have to shout out at customers all day. I don't hate working at the fair every time it's in town, but it's obviously not the greatest job in the world. Of course, this is one of my extra jobs and it gets a bit overwhelming to stand all day and use up my voice trying to get people to play the game I'm in charge of. I usually take over the booths with games when the fair is in town, and just to make it less boring we rotate. A few hours ago I was working the basketball game, and that one was a pain in the ass. The guys that shoot the ball are always these overly cocky guys who look like they're on steroids, and almost every time they try to throw, they miss and get angry trying to blame it on the game. Personally, I do think the game is rigged, but I don't know for sure, I just work it.

I've been working at the fish booth for just over two hours and just about seven people have made it around the cups filled with fish. I would much rather re position the cups, and make it easier so that all the fish went home with someone that might give them a better home. All fish that don't get ringed usually die by the next day, and they're replaced, just like that. Sometimes when little kids play and loose, I'll give them fish anyway, but I make sure not to be seen by any other workers for fear that they'll say anything and get me in trouble or for fear the actual manager would notice and fire me then and there.

My sister teases me sometimes about how I care too much about the fish, but then she comes to the conclusion that I'm just a really sweet guy. Then it gets mushy and I stay clear of her for a while. Thinking of the devil, I could see her walking towards my booth from afar holding hands with Jasper. I sighed and prepped myself for any teasing that might come, even though I knew it was all just play from Alice. She's actually told me she was proud to have such a hardworking brother.

"Hi Edward!" Alice exclaimed once she'd made it to my booth. "My aren't you looking dashing!" she teased and I rolled my eyes.

"Hello little sister." Before she could complain about our small age difference like she always did I continued. "Hey Jazz. You guys gonna play?"

"Hey, Uh sure" Jasper shrugged his shoulders and paid for three rings. He threw twice and missed, then he offered Alice one and she missed too.

"Darn it!" She said and both Jasper and I laughed. I ended up giving them a fish anyway.

Once they were gone I was completely bored. I had gotten out of my fair mode now and I had to get back in, being distracted by people I knew, did nothing to help me get customers in. I was wishing that I could be out there for once instead of in here. I tried calling out again, trying to get people into playing but I wasn't into it anymore. Now I just wanted the day to be over so that I could go home and sleep in my single bed. I was starting to feel how exhausted I really was, but even so I pushed on further trying to get back into fair mode.

The night went on and I got a few customers. I was handing a fish to a blonde girl and her dark haired boyfriend who I knew wouldn't win from the instant he'd stepped up to try and win a prize for his girl. He was one of those tough guys who thought he could do anything, and he was cocky. I'd given her a fish anyway, because she'd looked disappointed and he left the booth pretty angry while his girlfriend calmed him down.

Then I turned and I was caught off guard with the most beautiful chocolaty brown eyes I had ever seen. This girl was an angel fallen from heaven, she had the most perfect cream colored skin, pretty pink crescent lips, and beautiful dark long brown hair. I just had to smile, and when she smiled back at me with the cutest look on her face I thought I was gone, until a male voice semi-snapped me out of my beautiful trance. I realized she was with him, but even so I could not stop smiling at her.

"Can you get me a ring fish boy?" I heard the guy asking, and I wasn't even completely paying attention. I quickly went back to get a ring, eager to get back.

"Here you go." I handed him the ring and tried explaining the rules, "The object of the game is to toss the ring and make it around one of the cups, then--" but he was a complete asshole and interrupted.

"I know what to do doofus!" The guy snapped, and I tried not to laugh. Doofus? Is he serious?

"Ed!" I heard Manny, the guy who was in charge of making sure the fair ran smoothly, call my name from behind, and even though I didn't want to leave the angel behind, I had a job to do.

"Hold on a sec." I told the guy who was with the angel.

"What's up Manny?" I asked him as I approached him.

"Whenever you're done here, you can either go home or run the basketballs again. Your pick."

I knew that I was incredibly tired, but I needed the money so I agreed to take over the basketballs again. Besides, it was getting pretty late and most people would start leaving soon anyway. Once I was done with Manny I went back to attend my customers and once I got there I gave the guy the okay to toss, and when he did, he made it around one of the cups. I was surprised but went ahead and got the cup with the fish inside. I knew that the fish was going to be happy with its new owner, I sure as hell would be. I was still smiling, at the thought of the angel taking the fish home, and me wishing I would switch spots with the fish when I came up to her and handed her the cup.

I was disappointed when she didn't smile back, and I was completely caught off guard when she kissed the guy who won the fish... I felt like a fool, because I knew that she'd most definitely been looking at me the way she wouldn't look at any other guy unless he was her boyfriend.

"Thanks baby." I heard her say and I just about melted. She smiled at the guy and she had definitely not smiled the way she'd smiled at me. The guy looked like a complete idiot, like he'd never been kissed before. When he snapped out of it he grinned and swung his arm over her shoulder, and I wasn't sure but I do think I saw her flinch. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, even as she walked away with the guy, and when she turned her head around and saw me looking at her she seemed surprised. I would have kept looking until they were out of sight, but new customers came up and I focused on them, or I at least tried.

Kevin, a guy also running the booths came by and took my place in the fish booth so that I could go and take over the basketball game. After about a half hour of dealing with overly buff guys thinking they can make it into the hoops, I had a lovely surprise.

"Hey fish boy, or is it basketball boy now?"

I smiled at the guy who'd been with the angel earlier, knowing full well it would agitate him if I pretended that he wasn't bothering me, but he was. His presence itself was an invitation for my fist to meet his face but I wouldn't ever do anything stupid to lose something I desperately need, this job. "How about you throw a ball sir." I grabbed a basketball and held it out for him. "It's only three tickets worth."

"Look fish boy, I saw the way you looked at my Is."

"Your Is?" I asked, not fully understanding what language he was trying to speak. It sounded as if he'd been asking me 'were you looking at my crotch?' I had to stifle back a laugh.

"You think it's funny you're hitting on my girl?" He asked, getting in my face and I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold back on kicking his ass if he got any closer. _His Girl_, Shit. Is is the angel? Huh.

"Look man, I don't want any problems okay. This is a misunderstanding, I'm sorry if you felt threatened, but I didn't mean to--"

"Threatened!" He yelled and before I could step any closer to him, or him to me Jasper was between us.

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. Bro, you know you could lose your job. Walk away. Kevin's got it." He said to me and I nodded over at Kevin who was standing behind the guy. My gaze went to the guy and he was grinning like a fool and I wished at that moment Jasper wouldn't have been there, even if he had just saved my ass from being fired. I glared at the guy and stepped away from the booth with Jasper and Alice on my heels, I knew it because Alice was asking Jasper questions about what happened.

Suddenly Alice was in front of me. "What happened back there Edward?" It sounded like she was scolding a kid.

"Nothing. Nothing happened. The guys a jerk that's all."

"Expect nothing more, he's a Newton."

"A what?"

"You know, one of the rich kids that live past Magee Road. I know this because of that one party we went to where I punched you know who." She shrugged. "I remember him when some girl pointed him out to me. You know how I have a great memory."

I shook my head. "Well I don't care who he is, he's a complete dick shit." I said.

"Hang in there brother." Alice patted my shoulder and before I said goodbye, I made sure to thank Jasper. Then I found Manny and he agreed to let me go home fifteen minutes early, so I headed home.

Once I was in my apartment, I took a quick shower and went straight to bed. I had an early shift at Target at 7:00 AM and it was almost 1:00 AM. I also had to run booths again in the afternoon and I hoped I wouldn't run into dick shit because I wasn't sure I would resist the urge to kick his ass. I almost drifted off to sleep when I realized something I hadn't earlier. If dick shit's a rich kid so is the angel. I sighed and decided I couldn't care less, if I ever saw her again I would talk to her. _If_ I ever saw her again, but you'd be surprised how many times you can bump into the same people here.

When I drifted off to sleep, all I could do was think up different scenarios where I'd find the angel and get to know her. I knew I might not even _get _to see her again, but even so I could not wait to see her.

**I have 1,000,001 things in my mind for this story, but I am posting as I write and I'm not used to it, so bear with me. There's a few different ways I can take the third chapter, but it will probably be their first day at the U of A! I don't think I'll ever make promises about future chapters, because I might be changing my mind about them as I write depending on whether or not I feel its good enough. I do promise to start right away though... Please Review. ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**** Don't hate me because I don't get the educational related stuff wrong. I'm pretty much researching as I go, and I will change things up a bit to make my story run smoothly. For instance, I live near the U of A, and I've never stepped foot near it, so I'm **_**basing**_** this on it, but please note that it's not all true. I will **_**try**_** and keep things as real as possible when it comes to location, but considering I don't attend U of A. Bear with me. :)**

**Anyway, Both BPOV & EPOV in this chappie, and they actually talk. WhooT! ... ENJOY! ;D**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Twilight or any of Stephenie's Characters, but I named my guitar B-Joy-G after Bethany Joy Galeotti from One Tree Hill. :) Without the 'Joy' part it can stand for Bryan Greenberg whom I think is oober sexy. Lol**

_**BPOV**_

Getting up early in the morning is such a pain in my butt. It's finally day one of my U of A educational experience and I went to sleep pretty late last night. Angela was over and we stayed up until one in the morning talking about Eric, the guy she'd met at the fair a week ago and how she'd been texting him nonstop since. She apparently had a date with him on Saturday and today was Monday. She kept insisting I give her more details about Mr. Fuck Me. What more was there to tell? All we did was stare at each other for a while and then go our separate ways; it wasn't such a big deal. Besides, when in the world would I see him again? Even if I did, I couldn't talk to him. Mike was an extremely jealous guy and he'd take his jealousy out on me sometimes. I hated it.

Once, I was talking to a guy I'd met during a summer school program I took during high school about pharmacidical medicine and Mike went crazy. He beat the guy right in front of me and then slapped me across the face so hard, it left a bruise and I had to try and hide it as best I could with concealer. Angela saw it when it was pretty faded but still noticeable and I made her believe that I fell off my bed and hit my face against my nightstand. She agreed not to tell my parents or anybody else because they'd think I got into some sort of fight.

"Bella, don't be so negative. You never know, you might see him today in school." Angela said. We were sitting cross legged on my bed facing each other and eating skittles, the one candy that I could simply never live without.

"Uh, I don't think so. Not to be mean, but do you really think a guy working at a fair would be able to afford classes at the U of A?"

"I guess not." She sighed. "You see, I told you to come with me to the fair before it closed off, you could have gotten a number or something."

"Ang can you stop pushing it?" I snapped.

"Why?" She asked, a bit frustrated that I wouldn't be positive about the situation and I just shook my head.

"Because, there is no point to this conversation!" I sighed, frustrated myself. "I mean, seriously Ang, it was nothing big and I will probably never see him again. Please just drop it, be realistic. It's not going to happen, even _if_ I found him"

We stayed quiet for a few minutes, and I was about to tell her maybe she should go now because I had to get up early in the morning but she broke the silence first and continued the conversation. "Okay. Ill drop if after you answer me this..." I shrugged and waited for her to ask away. "_Why_ wouldn't you go for it _if_ you found him again?" She asked.

"Mike." I said simply.

"You mean money?" She was pretty bold at pointing that out and I couldn't get mad at her, because I knew that she was partly right, and I hated it. I didn't say anything and she continued. "You can live without money Izzie." I listened, but I couldn't comprehend. I couldn't picture it, so I simply shook my head. "Your dad is on your side, and I know he's part of the reason you stay with Mike. _You_ think that he's going to ditch you for Rene if you leave Mike?" She asked and shook her head. "Sweetie, I've met your dad, and he'd walk through broken glass for you."

I didn't speak; I simply closed my eyes, fighting back tears of frustration. I was frustrated with Angela who simply didn't get it. Mike had control over me, and Rene had control over my dad. Mike made me do things I didn't want to do, and Rene does the same to my dad. I do believe that he's just like me; he can't picture life without money anymore. So he kisses up to Rene too.

Sometimes I used to consider the idea that there might be a fifty-fifty chance he'd choose either, but when I see them together and the way that Rene makes sure she gets it her way, I'd lose all hope. So why get my hopes up anymore? I threw 'hope' out the window a long time ago. Besides, what kind of father agrees to a date for his daughter without her permission, or a vacation to Mexico with her boyfriend alone? I hate to think the thought that my father cares more about Rene than for me, but it's the way it feels all of the time. Rene wears the pants in the entire family, and my father could care less. He's fine with everything she decides, and I hate that not one person can comprehend that like I do.

"Izz?" Angela asked and I let out a raggedy breath that I hadn't realized I was holding. When I opened my eyes Angela was standing beside where I sat. "I'm sorry, I know you get upset when I talk about this... but I just keep hoping that one day you'll realize that it _doesn't_ have to be like this."

"Easy for you to say... what did your parents say when you told them about Eric?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Angela sighed, knowing full well where our conversation would go to next. "Let me guess, they don't know."

She sat back down beside me. "I didn't know how to tell them, because Eric isn't... well..."

"Wealthy." I said simply finishing her sentence.

"Yeah... but I'm _going _to tell them... _if_ it works out between the two of us. I mean, it's only our first date Izz, who knows if there'll be a second or third..."

I just nodded, knowing that I could put this on the table and win. I could point out that she's about to go on her first date and _she's_ not talking about the future in such a sure way the way she was trying to do with Mr. Fuck Me and myself. I decided to bite my tongue and not mention it; I _didn't_ want to get back into the whole thing again.

When Angela left I fell asleep right away.

Now it was 8:00 AM and my first class started at 10:00 AM in just a couple of hours. I only had seven hours of sleep, and I was wishing that I'd gone to sleep earlier. At least once I took a quick shower I felt awake enough to function through the day properly. It took me a full hour to get dressed and to straighten my hair, leaving me just about 45 minutes to get to school and find my class. I timed everything perfectly, considering that I would only take 30 minutes to drive there and the extra fifteen minutes I could use to read my map and find my class easily.

"We are here Miss. Swan." Giovanni said from in front of the guest car we had available at the house. Both Rene and my dad weren't home because Rene had a business meeting in Phoenix and she dragged my dad along with her. I didn't have my license due to the fact that nobody ever taught me how to drive. I would ask Giovanni, but he had a job to do and I wouldn't want to waste his time. Besides, I only really hung out with Angela, and her mom let her borrow her car anytime she pleased. Angela had offered up teaching me, but I decided not to accept because Angela's driving scares me a little bit, and she knows it. If I wanted a ride anywhere else, Rene would arrange it for me.

There was also Mike, but I would never ask him for _anything_. Mike had classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday. I had classes on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, so I would be getting a ride from him on Tuesday's, but thank god that we didn't get the same teachers and didn't get all the same days. Less Mike equals happy Isabella.

I stepped out of the car after thanking Gio and waved goodbye. When I turned to face the Biomedical Sciences Concentration Building in which my first class was, Biomedical Engineering, I gasped at how big and intimidating it was and held the paper that was my schedule closer to me. At that moment I wished I would have gotten here allot earlier, but really, what did I expect? Some small building with an easy access office where they could send someone to help me find my class? A girl could only wish. I decided that instead of standing there like a complete idiot, I should go ahead and look for my class. _405 B 405 B 405 B_, it became a chant in my head and once I looked throughout the whole first floor and then the second, I realized the rooms were separated by floor. If my room was _405 B_, I'd have to get to the fourth floor to the 400's. Easy enough.

I decided I'd take the elevator, hoping it was faster than escalating the stairs, which I didn't want to, do anyway. I had just about five minutes until my class started and when the elevator stopped on the third floor and the doors opened I almost shit myself, no kidding.

There stood Mr. Fuck Me aka Ed and all his gorgeous glory. He was wearing blue jeans and a black T Shirt with some sort of design imprinted on it. His hair was messy, but very very sexy. He looked just as dumbstruck as I probably did and I even blinked my eyes a few times making sure I wasn't seeing things. He smiled that perfect crooked smile of his and my heart just about slammed down to my toes. I knew I must have looked like an idiot blinking my eyes the way I did so I rubbed them a little after smiling a little smile back at him, pretending I had something in one of them and blinking my eyes rapidly as if trying to get that something out. I felt like a complete idiot as he walked into the elevator and I kept at my stupid plan, but I would have felt even stupider if he thought _I'd _thought he was nothing but my imagination.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I just about died.

"I, uh..." I finally stopped blinking like an idiot and looked at him. He was truly the best looking guy I had ever seen and he made me extremely nervous, my palms were sweating and I didn't know what to say. "I'm fine." I said, and I was surprised at how not nervous I sounded. The elevator stopped at the fourth floor and we both stepped out. I still felt completely stupid so I went at no further conversation and walked at a fast pace searching for my room, knowing full well that he was walking behind me. Once I spotted the door with _405 B_ imprinted above it, I was about to open it when Mr. Fuck Me spoke from behind me.

"Allow me." He said simply, giving my heart the reaction to beat at an insanely fast and abnormal pace as he opened the door for me and followed me inside. For a second I truly thought he was stalking me, but I just kept walking and found a seat near the front where there was a table completely empty. The rest of the tables were already taken and when Mr. Fuck Me sat right next to me I thought I'd fall off my chair, and knowing myself, I probably would.

The bell rang and our teacher introduced himself as Mr. Maylam. As he spoke I could not concentrate. All that was going through my mind was why is he here? I know he's not stalking me, he can't be. He's _in _this class, but how? Wow, what a bitch I am, of course he can come here. He's probably really smart, and he's probably on a scholarship. I mentally smacked my forehead and decided that I needed to work on assuming things that really didn't need to be assumed. I didn't _know_ everything.

Ed raised his hand and I realized the teacher was talking roll. I was so busy thinking off in my own little world that I didn't even know his name for lack of paying attention. I waited for my name and raised my hand as well then took a deep breath realizing that I had to sit next to this god for three hours, _without_ jumping at him and pulling at his hair the way I'd imagined myself doing one too many times since I first saw him. I shook my head and played attention to the lecture our new teacher Mr. Maylam was giving. He was talking about what it was we were going to be learning during the first semester and I was completely horrified by the time he was done and he'd explained what our first assignment would be. He said it was the simplest thing we could do on our first day before he threw the text books in our direction and handed us packets and packets of worksheets. I on the other hand didn't find our first assignment exciting or easy at all.

We had to prick each other's fingers and find out what blood type we were. "It's important that everyone know what blood type they are, you could be O without knowing it and everyone knows O is the what?" He asked and most of the students replied that it was the universal blood type. "That's right! You can save anyone in this room, and you don't even know it!" He spoke with such enthusiasm that you couldn't help but watch him move around the room, so much that I had forgotten Mr. Fuck Me was sitting right next to me and Mr. Maylam had said to partner up with whoever was sitting next to you, because they'd be your partner for the entire semester.

"Isabella?" I heard the god ask from beside me and when I looked at him I couldn't help but smile. "I'm Edward, Edward Cullen." He said and extended his hand for me to shake. I looked at it like an idiot for a few seconds before I actually took it in mine and we shook hands.

"Isabella Swan" I said simply. _Edward Cullen, Hmm... Mr. Fuck Me, Ed... Edward Cullen..._

"Isabella is a pretty name, but can I call you Bella? It's simply easier." He explained as he smiled his crooked smile. I simply nodded my head. I couldn't resist his simple request and I wasn't able to speak anyway for fear that I would do or say something stupid "Besides, you look like a Bella and if we're going to be spending allot of time together in class we should..."

"Be friends?" I suggested, and immediately regretted it. His face was beaming and I knew I wouldn't be able to resist staying away from him, even _if_ I was with Mike, and even _if_ he was a complete and total psychopath jealous boyfriend who would literally kill me if he found out I was partnered up with Mr. Fuck Me, I mean, _Edward_. Or worse yet, he'd kill _him_.

"Yeah." He replied right before Mr. Maylam started speaking again. He explained the process of our assignment and passed out a simple worksheet. Then we were on our own. Edward went off and grabbed the supplies necessary for the assignment and I stayed in my seat, trying to concentrate on not freaking out about the fact that I'd very soon be seeing blood, not only that but I'd have to prick my finger as well. I did not know if I could handle that. When Edward was back I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I was holding and Edward must have noticed something was wrong because he asked me if I was okay for the second time since we'd met.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. Just... tired." I replied and he narrowed his eyes at me, obviously suspicious that something was going on, but he dropped it. He offered for me to go first but damn it I didn't want to go at all so I just shook my head no, praying for a miracle. I calmed down enough to _think_ that I'd be okay, until he pricked his finger and I knew I couldn't take it. "I'll um, I'll be right back." I said as I rushed from my seat and to Mr. Maylam. I asked for a bathroom pass and practically ran out of the classroom.

Once I was out, I rushed around the corner and abruptly stopped. I didn't even know where the bathroom was and my head was spinning. I pressed my back against the cool wall and slowly slid down getting in an easy position to get my head between my legs. I had almost passed out in high school while performing a similar experiment, and I knew that this would calm down the queasy feeling in my stomach and the immense head rush I was getting. This is was the sight and smell of blood does to me, and yes, I do realize that I'm studying to be a doctor. It's a good thing I skipped breakfast this morning, and why the hell do we have to repeat the same exact lab that we'd probably all done in high school anyway, sort of.

My hands were shaking and I was trying to control my breathing thinking how lucky Ed the fish was swimming alongside bubbles back home, never once having to experience the embarrassment I felt earlier when Edward stepped into the elevator and I acted like a complete moron, or the nauseating feeling that the sight and smell of blood caused me. Lucky lucky fish.

_**EPOV**_

I was running late for my first day at school. I had worked overtime hours at Target last night helping out with inventory and I didn't go to sleep until two in the morning. Sadly, the Target I worked in was just about half an hour away from my apartment so it took a while to get home. I was starving when I made it home too, so I had a late dinner and then headed for my shower, knowing full well that I wasn't a morning kind of person and I would sure as hell never take a shower early in the morning.

Now, my alarm clock was beeping like crazy for the 5th time because I kept on slamming down on the snooze button. I finally got up and realized that I only had about an hour to get ready, eat breakfast, _and_ get to school. After I got dressed, I went into my small kitchen for some breakfast. I always ate breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day, but today, I had no time for a nice and relaxed breakfast like I normally had with some coffee and the morning paper. Today I grabbed a pop tart and a glass of milk chugging it all down. I headed out of my apartment once I was done eating after grabbing my binder and a pen. I raced to my car and drove like a maniac to school. I was lucky there weren't any police officers driving around the streets I took. I parked in the parking garage nearest to the Biomedical Sciences Concentration Building.

I was out of breath when I got there and I only had about fifteen minutes until my class began. I panicked and didn't even think about looking at my map or asking someone for help. I simply ran into the building and after scanning the first floor I went to the second floor taking two steps at a time getting glares from a few people I would pass. When I scanned the second floor and made it to the third, I felt like an idiot realizing that the classes were separated by floors. The fourth floor was going to be the one where my class was, _405 B, __Biomedical Engineering_. I was completely exhausted so I decided that with the five minutes I had left until class started, I would spend thirty seconds of them in an elevator. I needed _some _sort of rest before class after working hours and hours, staying up late, _and _running a marathon.

I pressed the button to the elevator, and it arrived in just seconds, and when the doors opened my heart beat raced with so much enthusiasm that I thought it would fly right out and land in the Angel's arms, because that's exactly the person that was standing right in front of me. The Angel from the fair. She was in a light blue shirt that made her beautiful creamy skin want to be touched, and jeans that showed off her curves.

I stood there for a quick second, completely taken aback by the fact that she was standing only feet away from me. She had the cutest look on her face and she was blinking as if trying to process that I was there, she was obviously _not_ expecting to see me here and I couldn't help but grin. I knew she was 'a wealthy' thanks to her boyfriend and I was absolutely positive that it was completely shocking for her to see me, Edward Cullen, at the U of A. She gave me a small smile and then she started blinking even faster and as I stepped in, I realized that she wasn't blinking because she'd seen me and she wanted to confirm that I was really there, but because she had something in her eye. "Are you okay?" I asked her, honestly concerned for her pretty brown eyes.

"I, uh..." She quit blinking and she met my eyes. "I'm fine." She said, and before I could respond or she could continue, the elevator stopped. It was the fourth floor and I'd forgotten that I was even in an elevator because I'd only been concentrating on the angel. When we both stepped out of the elevator I was on a high when I realized she was walking towards the corner of the hall where _my_ class should be. I was practically on her heals, I didn't want to come off as a stalker or anything, but class would start any moment now. I knew I had to rush, just as she was. When I noticed she'd passed the second to last door, my heart raced at the fact that she was headed for the only class left, _my class_.

I picked up my pace and beat her to the door. "Allow me." I said and opened the door for her. She stepped inside as did I and the first thing I noticed was that everybody was pretty much there. All tables were full except for one, where the Angel took a seat near the front, and I followed right after, feeling like a stalker but knowing it was pretty ridiculous to feel that way when I had this class _too_, and this was the _only_ seat left. I had no other choice, but if I did, I'd still sit right next to her.

When the bell rang only moments after we had taken our seats, our new teacher introduced himself. Mr. Maylam was his name and he was talking about his educational background, but I was only able to catch the very beginning because I just couldn't believe that I was sitting next to The Angel from the fair. What a small world. I tried my best not to make it obvious that I was watching her, but I had nothing to worry about because she seemed extremely concentrated on something. Her forehead was slightly wrinkled, her eye brows furrowed and I felt the need to reach out and smooth it out with my thumb gently, and make sure she wasn't stressing on whatever that pretty head of hers was thinking about. I shook my head and concluded that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all to sit next to her if I wasn't going to pay attention. I _needed _to pay attention. This was no way to start off my career, being distracted on my first day of college. Luckily I focused back on the teacher when he was taking roll.

"Edward Cullen." Mr. Maylam called out, and I raised my hand. When he called out, "Isabella Swan," and The Angel raised her hand. I smiled, happy to know her name, and thinking back to what her boyfriend called her. I frowned _Is?_ It wasn't at all catchy. She needed something that was just as simple but beautiful as her... I thought for a second and finally decided, _Bella._ Bella is a great nickname for Isabella. I snapped back out of it, mentally slapping myself for dosing off again. _Damit._ I needed to get myself focused.

Mr. Maylam was talking about his plans for the semester and what we were to expect. I was quite into what he was saying and easily learned that he was the kind of teacher that would start talking about one thing and get into something else that was completely irrelevant to the class itself, but I did enjoy listening about a few of his experiences after he'd graduated from the U of A itself. Eventually he got into what we were to do for the remainder of the first half of class. I took a look at the clock and we had one hour to finish the assignment, but I knew the lab itself wouldn't take that long. It would be quick and we'd have to work most of the time filling out the worksheet. He explained how we would have a lunch break for thirty minutes then return for another hour.

All we had to do was prick our fingers and find out what blood type we were. He handed out textbooks and packets of worksheets that we were to work on throughout the semester. Somebody asked him why we had to do _this_ lab on our first day and when he answered, he was entertaining. He was so enthusiastic that he made it hard for me to look away. "It's important that everyone know what blood type they are, you could be O without knowing it and everyone knows O is the what?" He asked and most of the students replied that it was the universal blood type. "That's right! You can save anyone in this room, and you don't even know it!" I already knew that I was blood type O positive because I'd donated blood to the red cross since I was in high school and they'd sent me a card in the mail with my name and blood type on it, but it didn't hurt to simply prick my finger and find out on my own, so I wasn't going to complain.

When Mr. Maylam said to partner up with whoever was sitting next to you, because they'd be your partner for the entire semester I wasn't sure whether I should be cursing or thanking the heavens. I was defiantly going to be one distracted son of a bitch, but not at all in a bad way. I took a deep breath and decided we might as well get a move on it. "Isabella?" I asked, facing her now. When she looked at me and she smiled, I had to smile back. "I'm Edward, Edward Cullen." I said and extended my hand out for her to shake.

When she finally took it and shook she replied, "Isabella Swan".

"Isabella is a pretty name, but can I call you Bella? It's simply easier." I explained knowing that I was smiling the smile that Alice would always tell me would make any girl fall on her knees for me. I couldn't see what the big deal was. She simply nodded in response. "Besides, you look like a Bella, and if we're going to be spending allot of time together in class we should..."

"Be friends?" She offered.

If it was even possible, I smiled more at the suggestion. "Yeah." I replied and Mr. Maylam started to talk again. He explained the process of our assignment and passed out a simple worksheet. Then we were on our own. I stood up and went towards the back to grab the supplies necessary for the lab. I wasn't long, and when I got back to our table Bella didn't look so good, was she sick? "Are you okay?" I asked her, actually wondering if I should get Mr. Maylam.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm fine. Just... tired." I said, but her voice was shaky and unsure. I narrowed my eyes, not falling for it, but I knew not to push it. She was after all still a stranger to me and my being overprotective of her after just meeting would probably freak her out. I wasn't taking my chances so I dropped it. I continued to read through the instructions only somewhat paying attention to what I was reading because I'd done this before, there was really nothing to it. I offered for her to go first, but when she shook her head no I went ahead and pricked my finger with the lancet.

Before I could do _anything _else to continue the experiment I heard Bella speak. "I'll um, I'll be right back." She said and rushed away from me and to Mr. Maylam. She asked for a bathroom pass and practically ran out of the classroom. I just sat there, staring at the door trying to get why she left so suddenly... then it hit me. She was faint, and it was because of... I lifted my finger and examined the bead of blood that was there. Blood. _Blood._ Blood?

Wow, she was studying to become a doctor... did she not realize that?

I made sure to put small drops of blood on enough prongs to make sure Mr. Maylam would think both Bella and I had done the experiment, then I put it on the small white cards watching as the blood spread. Once I was done with that I went to Mr. Maylam and asked for a bathroom pass as well, I told him it was an emergency knowing that he might bring up the fact that Bella wasn't back yet, and that was the only reason I needed to leave. I wanted to check up on her, make sure she'd be okay... even if she found it weird.

When Mr. Maylam gave me the OK, I rushed out the door, but started walking at a pretty slow pace trying to figure where the bathrooms would be and what I would say once I saw her when I turned the corner and almost tripped over something. I instantly looked down and I'd bumped into Bella's leg. "Shit. I'm sorry Bella, I-"

"It's okay, really." She said as she looked up at me, but her voice was barley a whisper and looking down into her eyes, her brown eyes seemed even darker and I realized it was because her face was so pale that they stood out more than anything. She was definitely delicate when it came to blood.

I kneeled down beside her, holding her gaze. "Bella, why are you on the floor?" I was getting extremely comfortable with the nickname I'd chosen to use for her.

"I-" She sighed. "I don't feel so good." She admitted.

"Yeah well that much I guessed... you don't look so good." I replied and she frowned, I re-thought what I'd said and realized... "I mean, you're very pretty-" Pretty doesn't even begin to describe her. "-But you know, I meant you don't look like you feel good at all." The corners of her pretty mouth pulled up slightly and her cheeks were beginning to turn pink as the color in her skin came back, I was glad I'd made her smile.

"I, um." She started, "I _knew_ what you meant, but... thank you." Her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink.

It was my turn to frown. "Then why the frown?" I asked.

"I just hate that I can't take it!" She said frustrated, "I'm already out of there and I've only been attending this stupid University for half an hour!" She hid her face in her hands and truthfully, I was shocked. Was she saying that she _didn't _want to be here? I didn't have a chance to say anything because she stood up and apologized before walking back towards the classroom.

I knew that the rest of the class wouldn't have been done with their labs just yet and before I knew what I was doing, I was standing in front of her. "Maybe you shouldn't go in just yet."

"Oh." Her face went pale again, and truthfully I thought she might faint in front of me."Right. I forgot." She sighed. "Well what the hell am I supposed to do then?" She asked, probably to herself.

"I..." I hoped that this wouldn't sound so creepy... "I pretty much finished already... and I... I kind of used my blood for you." I admitted. I couldn't look her straight in the eyes because I had a feeling she'd think I was even more stalker-ish now.

"Thanks." I heard her breathe and when I met her eyes, she seemed sincere. No sign that I'd freaked her out lingered. Besides, the color in her face was back and she seemed allot more calm. I knew she wouldn't faint now.

I told her I'd go in and cover for her a few minutes. When Mr. Maylam saw me he simply smiled and didn't ask one question of Bella. I shrugged and went on inside finishing up the lab, and once I was done, it had only been about ten minutes, and I went to the door knocking three times softly which was Bella's cue to come inside. When she did, Mr. Maylam didn't even notice. That was good and I was glad this wasn't high school or we would have never gotten away with what we did.

When we were seated in our seats we went straight to filling up the simple worksheet. "Congratulations Bella," I said. "You're O positive." I grinned and she laughed.

"Thanks again, Edward." She smiled and then sighed. "Can we please keep all of this a secret?" She asked and I was confused, she must have seen the confusion on my face and so she continued. "I mean... god this is kind of embarrassing... but you know how I said we could be friends?" She asked and I nodded. I was afraid she was going to say she changed her mind and didn't want to anymore. "Well... my boyfriend is kind of a jealous guy, and he'll be here tomorrow. Well, not in this class, but in the same building... He's studying specifically to be a surgeon."

I didn't know what to say. Mainly because I wanted to tell her what a jack hole her boyfriend was and let her in on how he came back and almost cost me my job that night at the fair, but also because It bothered me that she couldn't have me as a friend unless it was in secret and I wasn't sure I should tell her that either. "Okay." That was my genius reply. As much as I hated her boyfriend, I knew it was not my place to judge him, especially in front of her. Also, at least she wasn't cutting me out.

When our thirty minute lunch break came around, we ate on campus at a nearby Jack In The Box. We had walked there, since it was so close. We were currently sitting across from each other and Bella was stuffing herself with French fries. She noticed me watching and she blushed while taking a sip of her drink. "Sorry," She said. "I don't eat much fast food."

"You... you don't eat much fast food?" I asked.

"Actually, this is the first time I have eaten outside of home for a while."

"Outside of home?" I asked and she shrugged. I smiled, "Well I'm glad your first fast food meal in a while was with me."

"Me too." She blurted and blushed once again. We ate the rest of our food in silence and rushed out of there once we were done and to our class again.

Bella and I were sitting side by side on our table five minutes before class was supposed to start. "Edward?"

"Yeah?" I asked looking at her.

"I was wondering... I mean, ugh, there's no way to not sound mean or anything... but I'm curious." She said and I nodded, signaling for her to go ahead. "I was wondering, how, I mean, are you on a scholarship?" She asked.

I laughed a little, "No." I shook my head, I knew she'd asked as nice as she could, but I wouldn't have minded if she would have straight-out asked how I was able to afford my schooling, I had nothing to be ashamed about. "My parents, they died last year when I turned eighteen and left both me and my sister enough money to pay for school." Here it goes... pity.

"Wow, I'm so sorry." She said to me, her eyes soft. We gazed at each other for a moment as if she could comfort my loss with a simple look, and she sure could.

"Yeah me too." I smiled a little and she touched my hand, gently. She was so soft, I just wanted to take her hand in mine and...

"Welcome back class!" Mr. Maylam started the class once again and we basically had an hour and a half to kill reading a full chapter from a medical book he'd thrown at us and to answer questions at the end. For the remainder of class we were all working hard on our second assignment of the day and Bella and I would only talk when we'd help each other out on some of the questions.

When class was over everyone walked out and Bella and I were the last. "So you enjoy our first day of many?" I asked her, and realization hit me. I'd be sitting next to this angel for a very long time. This course was a year and a half and then we'd switch to a different one for another year and a half.

"Not the part where I almost passed out, but besides that. It was alright." She said.

"Did _you _enjoy yourself?" She asked.

"Yeah, it was pretty much what I expected. Actually not the blood type part, but everything else."

When we were outside in front of the building I just had to ask.

"So about what you said earlier... you don't want to be here?" I asked, she was deep in thought when we heard rap music blasting and someone honking very obnoxiously. When Bella's eyes went wide as she saw past me I immediately turned to see a black hummer approaching us.

"Shit." I heard her mumble, and when the hummer stopped right in front of us I saw him, her boyfriend. "Mike!" She said, not at all excited, more surprised. "What are you doing here?" She asked after he turned down his music.

"Picking you up baby!" He said, and then looked at me. "I thought I told you to stay away from her."

"What?!" Bella exclaimed and when I looked at her, she looked pissed. "You didn't say anything about that?" She questioned me and I shrugged.

"I don't want to start problems, I'll see you." I said to her _before _her boyfriend got out of the car, because then I'd be forced to kick his ass simply because he pushes my buttons. I didn't even respond to 'Mike', I simply turned and walked away while I heard him shout at me. 'Yeah you'd Better Run!' I got to my car and sped home, more than usual, I was so angry and I took it out on my poor Volvo.

Once I got home I was exhausted, mentally, _and_ I was called in for work even though it was my day off. I could have said no, but I decided that I could use the extra cash, so I went anyway.

_**BPOV**_

I'm not sure what is making me do this, but I haven't done it in so long and I feel like I need to. Not only that, but I _want _to.

_SomethingAboutMe,_

_I know it's been long and I thank all of you guys for sticking around. I mean I realize I haven't updated in what? Months. But I noticed that allot of you are still asking where I'm at and why I haven't been on here. The truth is I've been a mess and it's complicated. Yes, I'm always saying that, but trust me. It is. I know I can trust all of you though. You've all helped me so much since I've moved from my heaven to my hell. Overly dramatic much? I know, but after losing the dad I used to know and love and gaining money, aka; my brand of heroin, my life's been filled with complicated decisions. I most recently made two mistakes and I can only fix one. I'm not strong enough to face the second._

_My first mistake was to shut you all out, and for that I apologize. I'm back though! And I hope you guys can forgive me… please? ___

_My second Mistake is probably going to shock you, NO; It _is _going to shock you. You'll probably give me crap about it for god knows how long, because I keep on internally punching myself in the gut for doing what I'm doing, for putting up with it, but I _can't_ do anything about it. I CAN'T! :/ ugh… Here goes nothing: Boyfriend, the one I was supposedly falling for just months ago, basically raped me. Wow, and I have never said it all loud but writing it out is pretty hard for me right now, so bear with me… He's also used physical violence now and then. Ahhhh! I feel stupid/insecure/angry/hurt/stupid/stupid/stupid/stupid/… as I reveal this._

………………………………………………………_.._

_Anyway, I caught him drugged out at school and he threatened that if I were to say anything about it, he'd bring me down with him. Using the lie that I did drugs too against _my_ parents, and outing me about my dreams and hate for Step-Mom. That would cause me to lose the one person I can't bear to loose, my dad. You see, Step-Mom would disown me, which would only tear me down because I have never been on my own and I am obsessed with cash, but my dad would take her side, and I couldn't stand that. Just the thought hurts…_

_I know what I should do, but considering the risks, I can't._

_Well, There You Go, _

_SomethingAboutMe._

_P.S. Is it too soon to move on? (Let me clarify: considering my situation, is it too soon to move on romantically?) __Should I feel guilty for being attracted to someone considering the fact that I've been... Ugh, I feel like I need to whisper it, __But I guess there's no way around it, is there? So with that said; should I feel guilty for being attracted to someone?__Considering the fact that I've been... raped? Is it a good or bad sign? Because, truthfully... it makes me feel a little whore-ish. :/_

_P.S.-P.S. Have you ever met someone that was able to get so much out of you? __In less than three hours, without you realizing that they're doing so? _

_P.S.-P.S.-P.S. sorry about all the P.S.'es. ;]_

**Ahaha! Third chapter took me forever, but I was trying to get **_**Devotion & Desire**_** posted up completely first, and I did. If you watch One Tree Hill, check out my other story, if you don't I suppose you all can read it too, because it's off the record of the show. I'm only using a few characters and added a few of my own.**

**Anyway, I'll get right on the 4****th**** chapter, I'm open for suggestions so REVIEW and let me know what you think please! **


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